Aug 22 2008
Just Saying No
There is an art to being able to say no gracefully. I’m not saying that I know it, I just know there is one. And being diabetic means practicing saying no a lot.Usually, for me, it’s just saying no to myself. The first big “no” I did was telling myself that the Dr. Pepper I had before I went in to get my first A1C results was going to be my last one. I’ve had to say no to a side of fries even when the meal will be the same price, turn down the second piece of candy or say “no, thanks” to second helpings at my mom’s house.
For me, the polite no is a matter of discipline. My diabetes is mild and I’m trying to make sure it never gets any worse. I’m glad I can accept the first piece of candy and that takes the sting out of not being able to have two or three.
It would be easy to play up the martyr like aspect of it all, but making a big deal of it would just make me look like a drama queen. For that matter, saying no with a set jaw and grim countenance would do little besides make people around me sad for asking. I try to make my refusals politely with a smile if I can.
I keep in mind that the people who are offering me food I shouldn’t have are doing so usually either out kindness (like my mom) or because it’s their job (like the person offering me a side of fries). And usually, when it’s just me, I’m not thinking in terms of “this will hurt me if I have it”, I’m just thinking I’m hungry. There’s no reason to be a jerk to those offering or to myself for wanting.
Saying no is like anything else: you get better with repetition. The important thing is to be consistent, ingraining the activity until it’s second nature and no longer awkward. Once the family gets used to the idea, then they stop asking and if you’re lucky do so without any fanfare. By the time that happens, it’s much easier to say it to yourself.
When I first became aware of my diabetes, I decided very quickly that was going to be good at saying no. It was part of taking the long view. I want to be healthy enough to say yes to the things I can have for a very long time, which means saying no to a lot of things now.
For me, the trade is worth it.
