Sugar Turned On Me

I went to visit some friends the other night for their weekly social gathering, which apparently involves snacks. When they put out two bowls of cookies, the host rattled off some numbers: the amount of carbs, the amount of calories and the serving size. He also pointed out that one bowl was wheat and gluten free, which would be more important for one of the guests with allergies than me.

I was struck by the consideration. I bring up that I’m diabetic to friends, but it’s not exactly featured in every conversation. It’s not even featured in every conversation about food. That someone would remember and give me a heads up was huge not to mention very gracious.

Most people with chronic illness don’t want to be the center of attention. Having a problem that doesn’t go away already makes one feel abnormal. Drawing attention to it raises it to sideshow freak levels. The desire to stay out of the conversational spotlight does make the desire to do things like share food a little complicated.

I do think that if you’re going to have people over for food, having a working knowledge of their allergies and restrictions is a good idea. That way you avoid serving the vegetarians meat or having to learn the fast and hard way how to administer an epipen. But the trick is making allowances without pointing a sign at the person you’re making the allowances for and shouting “this is the defective one!”

My friend did it right and I’m grateful for that. I hope that when I host my next soiree (well, when my wife hosts it and I stand there and look all host-y) that I can match the level of graciousness as well as the level of discreetion. Because the whole point is to make those you welcome into your home feel included, not singled out. After all, awkwardness is never a welcome guest.